i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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