im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
