what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
