He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
