I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think I died a long time ago.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
