Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
