I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
