You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
