i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
