the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
