So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do herpes really smell.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
