Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
handjob tips. give me some.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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