What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
