i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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