this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
