party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
