Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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