How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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