I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
