i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
