I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
did i walk over a car last night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
