normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
