have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
