Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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