And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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