"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
