the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
