Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
