I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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