That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize