It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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