You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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