Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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