I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
