if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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