Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
