On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
