Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
