You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
