that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
