i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
