i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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