you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
