ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
