It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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