I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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