i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
