Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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