where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
