i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
