So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
