Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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