i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
