p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
