I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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