im having a threesome with these popsicles
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
