They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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