On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize