"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
