i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
