I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
